Empty Shell

Damiana is an empty shell of a person. She is an automaton. I hate that her desire to please, comes before her desire to live life, her life, to the fullest. I would never think that altruism could have such dark shades...But, I guess I was wrong. She is a mime...She mimics her Master. The things that he says...And whatever he tells her, she believes. Don't get me wrong, Big Brother is VERY intelligent. He's the most intelligent person in this household. He's one of those people who can build things with their hands in a matter of seconds, he can draw lifelike things, he can play bass guitar...He's one of those DnD nerds you love to hate for their intelligence. But she idolizes him as if he were a God.

We did a photo shoot a few months ago. He was teaching us about photography, since we're both interested in learning, and not just being models. We were learning about Split, Loop, Butterfly, and Rembrandt Lighting. He gave us as assignment, to use either him or each other(But not ourselves, obviously) in order to create a photo using one of the styles of lighting we had just learned.

I decided to use her, and she decided to use Big Brother.

When it was my turn, I used her. I had already mapped out my idea. Since I am inspired by the Gothic and the Primitive(Well, I am inspired by lots of things...But I think all of my work will pretty much look like , or a Black Metal band) I chose to use the Pokot tribe as my inspiration. I wanted the photo to look primitive and fierce...Like a cross between "The Exorcist and Broadway's The Lion King". I used Summer's Eve(According to Damiana, the infamous, "Vag Powder", LOL) on her face in order to create the look of the clay-textured face paint that those from the tribe wear during rituals(Especially the (coming-of-age) rituals of young girls getting their Periods). I knew I wanted to use minimal light...To have the subject shrouded in darkness, save a few spots, such as the face and the body.

When I shot her, she kept getting antsy...Her body was trying to come up with a pose. Eventually she broke down, and her and Big Brother had a long discussion, which included her saying, "I was to perform for you..." Blasay blasay....Him telling her that she needed to work on her poses...More blasay blasay...

And then she used him as a subject. He was a cowboy, in a Weird West scenario. The finished product came out good...But she made it known that she wanted to please him with her photo.

She's not really an artist at all. Real artist...And there are MANY pseudo ones out there, are passionate about what they do...And they do what they do from the heart...It might not be politically correct...It might not be correct on any front...In fact it could be antisemitic, racist, sexist, homophobic, anti-Obama, pro-Clitorectomy...But it is about what the artist, he or she, believes in.

I feel that Damiana is not a free individual, and you know what? She isn't. Obviously. I just get sick and tired about the fact that the one thing we have control over as human beings...I mean, I might never become rich or famous, Hell, I might not, though let's hope that isn't true, because published in a wide-spread fashion for the whole world to see...But I will always have the freedom to say what is on my mind. That much you can't take away from me. You can choose not to publish it...But you can't kill me for saying it.

I remember a conversation we had a few months ago...I can't even remember how we started discussing Communism. Big Brother believes in Socialism...And so do I. I believe that everyone is equal and everyone deserves a fair shot at life. I have a problem with people who aren't doing anything for themselves getting benefits, though...Which, well, that is one way I could see how Socialism could go wrong. But, Socialism, as BB put it, is "By the people, for the people". It's a utopian democracy.

He was trying to explain to Damiana...He actually tries to educate her...That Communism is a bad thing...Because it doesn't allow any sort of freedom for the individual. Communism is totalitarianism. You dissent(Wow,I really can't figure out how to spell that one right now) you die. Ironically, his being a Master is a form of totalitarianism, or could be. But, as i've said, he's actually trying to teach Damiana how to be...more Self-sufficient, hopefully so one day(Especially when her sub pet comes back from Kansas), she'll be able to live without him, or, since she'll still be living with us more than likely, won't be as dependent on him.

Well, Damiana kept defending Communism, saying that it provided,"More than we needed".I kept trying to explain to her that that isn't the point. The point isn't whether or not your needs are satisfied...But that what if you want more, simply because you want it? I wouldn't want the government to provide what it considers for me to be enough, if I can pay for more. What if the burger they give you isn't enough to feed fatty? What if you want more from your life than the machine-like existence they give you?

I gave another example...Saying that the art in a Communist society would be something akin to,"Smiley face equals happy", "Frowning face equals sad", "Vertical line equals hungry". Big Brother actually agreed with me, saying that is exactly what it is...Government control of expression.

I'm still not sure how she is able to defend that sort of thing. I mean, I know she is a Sub, and I know she is use to someone else having power over her, and thus they are like,but still...To apply that to everyone in the world when it should just be applied to you is pretty selfish.

I adore my freedom of choice..

If I had the link, i'd post some Devo:D