I do not mean to be...But sometimes I find myself being a malicious person. I don't consider myself to be a mean person. But sometimes I hate the fact that Damiana lives in the same place as I do so much...Hate the fact that every waking hour, every time I come home from work...She'll be there...Like some twisted and deranged Stepford wife. I find myself wishing she'll go out on one of her gigs and never return, and end up raped or something traumatic...Even dead.
When she came home from her dancing gigs, I could tell something was wrong even though she didn't say anything. It turns out that a day after a dancing gig, this time at a private dance(Of only two), she was approached for sex. I guess it was all they wanted.
Nothing ended up happening...But, for someone of her mentality, I guess it was pretty detrimental.
Somehow, though, I find myself...Not caring. As malicious as that it. I just don't.
I guess I don't have much sympathy/empathy for her because she will use those situations, and come home, all "Broken up"...So that Big Brother will pity her, and keep her around....Because, you know, she can't possibly take care of herself, and you don't want to put her out on the street...
As far as the dance...She couldn't know that would happen. But there have been other times when she has walked straight into her own defeat. Like when she almost got herself involved in illegal prostitution...And then when Big Brother told her how exactly she was involving herself in something illegal, and then she kept defending her doing it, and then him asking her how she would declare her innocence, she said, "Well...I would just say that I didn't know...".
Obviously, if you commit a crime...No matter what it is...Whether you were aware it was a crime or not, you're going to get some degree of punishment.
But common sense does not occur to her.
She will never move beyond Big Brother, and the fact that he does not love her in any way, except as a Master to a Slave(Although, as I have said, he is not as brutal a Master as he could be, in any respect).
She is always in a futile, and perpetual struggle to please him with her pancakes, with her sandwich-makingskills, with her knowledge of, maybe not useless, but random facts about video games and books(She knows a lot quantitatively, but not qualitatively. I mean, i'm sorry, but if you know so-and-so black mage from Dungeons and Dragons, yet defend Communism...There is a vast...Difference between what you call Wisdom, as opposed to Intelligence.)
Big Brother is her mentor...And he seriously believes that she needs him. But I think he enables her to be weak. Apparently, in the past, she has fallen for all the wrong sorts of men, and ended up used and abused...Told to suck their dick in order to "Repent" for her having "Had sex with other men"...Mind games...She hadn't had sex with other men, yet they made her feel guilty for something she didn't do, and then made her make up for something that she, well, didn't do.
But experience breeds knowledge, and you can't tell me that she could possibly think it okay to repeat the same mistake. I don't care your brain is wired...If you keep getting stung...Eventually you'll learn to remove the stinger.
Damiana is punished right now. Every time she "Fucks up" she is punished for a certain amount of time.
The first time she was punished, at least that I know of, she stole money from the cup we use for communal finances(Rent, food, transportation, a family trip to the movie theatre or the mall, or even money for an individual as long as they make it known that they're a) taking money from the cup, and b) how much they're taking.) Apparently, she took more than she was suppose to(Don't quote me on the entire story, I actually can't remember it well), money we didn't have...That is why we would have been short on the rent money(I think), but Big Brother had me chip in a little more than he wanted me to that month, and so we had all the rent money back. I just remember one night...Me and Mia were on the floor in the living room watching something, and we saw him bring her into the bathroom, carrying a big, metal poll. My mind just said, "Ooouch...". We heard screaming coming from the bathroom, and looked at each other, but surprisingly, we only heard two loud ones, and then the others were not as discernible.
She ended up having a bruise on both of her cheeks that had the appearance of third degree burns for about two weeks.
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